To all the boys I loved before.

Since we have a late start day, I figured I’d take a few minutes to write a little blip. It may be a new year, but I’m still the same hopeless romantic. It’s funny because it sort of made me think back to when I started having crushes on boys and started imagining getting married, possibilities of having a family, etc. I loved the Netflix Original To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. It brought me back to my high school days. Writing has always been my passion and writing notes/letters was no exception back then. There’s something a little magical in getting snail mail and reverting back to the old times when texting wasn’t a thing.

I remember almost every note I wrote back then, spilling out all my feelings on paper. I wonder if anyone still has any of those. I kept every note ever written to me by anyone. They’re all safely stored in a box back home. It’s one of the purest forms of expression. I often write in pen and won’t erase anything I’ve written and opt to cross words out so people can see what I would have written had I not changed my train of thought. Even in my own journal, I do this. Sometimes the stream of consciousness I’m on changes in an instant and I usually start to ramble on at that point. Much like I’m doing now.

Anyway, as I was reminiscing I started to think about how I’m about to be in a whole new country away from everything I’ve known my whole life and in charge of about 40 people who expect me to know what I’m doing to an extent. It absolutely terrifies and excites me all at once. I have already got a new journal to document everything that I’m about to experience there and also a lot of paper and stamps so that I can revert back to snail mail and the excitement of getting a piece of paper from someone that can mean the world. So, if you’re interested in getting letters from me, even now; send me your address. I’ll gladly write to you. And maybe, if you feel like it, you can write to me too. Add your words to my neverending collection.

Lastly, I thought about all the boys I’ve loved in my life. Even most recently. All of you have given something to me, even if it was just a small piece. You have shaped how I think about love and loss and relationships and what I want out of one. Some more than others have shown me that there is something better out there. However, temporary or longevity they may be. It isn’t always about the physical connection. It’s just as much emotional, how you speak, how often you converse, remembering the little things. I’m more for how I can interact with someone on a day to day basis. How do you hold a conversation? Can we mess with each other? Are you going to fall into a river in the middle of a conversation? Win me over with words and wit. Being good in bed is just an added bonus *wink*.

I guess you know a little bit more about me now. The stream of consciousness. I hope everyone has a great day and as always, thanks for reading.

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