What happens when you stay?

It’s very hard for me to wrap my head around the concept that there’s a difference between “me things” and “them things”. Not being able to accept me as I am and take the love that I have to give is a “them thing”. Choosing not to want a relationship with me and doing things for their own personal affairs is a “them thing”.

I’ve always felt so guilty about people projecting their insecurities and feelings onto me when really I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve had so many toxic and uncaring relationships that it’s hard for me to distinguish good from bad anymore.

I am worth something. I am worthy of someone loving me and choosing to be with me. This is for those people who picked me up and used me. You didn’t win. I still love with 200% of my heart. Whoever is lucky enough to have me in their life is going to get so much love and they’ll prove that they deserve it and vice versa.

I fall too much for words and the actions never reciprocate. So, from now on I won’t let my heart go until the actions follow through with the words. Because I’m tired of being treated like I’m not worth having the nice parts of a relationship.

I won’t have someone who thinks “out of sight, out of mind” is a good way to go through life and flit through relationships and other people’s feelings like they mean nothing. The good ones are out there. Maybe one day I’ll have enough common sense to see the red flags. No more wasted time. Time to start focusing on being a happier/healthier me. It’s a good start and a long road, but I can already feel it going in the right direction.

Thanks for being with me on this crazy self-discovery and as always thanks for reading.

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