We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

I really need to read, The Perks of Being a Wallflower because I think that I could relate a lot to it. The title of this post is one of my favorite lines from the said book that I haven’t read yet. In the movie trailer, Emma Watson who plays one of the main characters says, “Why is it that I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing…” to which Logan Lerman responds, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” And this, of course, ends with a hug and probably crying.

I always wondered why people do that. Pick people to be in their lives who really don’t give a damn about them. Is it for popularity? To get something? What are you really gaining? In the end, all that will be left is nothing. You will be worse off than you were before. I sometimes watch Facebook (it’s basically an ongoing drama) just to see what comes up. I see couples who have been together for years suddenly break up, I see posts about friends backstabbing them and bitches this and bitches that, I see people who break up and get back together almost every other day. I see song lyrics and hopelessness and exasperation. I always wonder how some people can stand to log in every day.

But back to the main subject. One girl, in particular, catches my eye. Well, actually a few. They date these guys who seem like they’re so great and they post picture after picture of themselves with them and write adorable statuses about love and how they never want it to end. Then in a few weeks (sometimes shorter, sometimes longer)  it is shattered. Their profile becomes the “single” page. No more cute pictures, no more cute statuses. Just a lot of depressing statuses about how they broke her heart and they will never go for that guy ever again and she deserves better than that. And then, of course, it could be a day, a week, a month and they are right back together with that same guy. Doesn’t matter if they’re in high school or college. It is the same cycle that I see going on, on a daily basis.

So why do these girls keep going out with these guys? It’s a question that I have faced myself. It’s cus you love them. Doesn’t matter if they crushed your heart, made you cry night after night, broke promises they said they never would, called you every name in the book and told you they never wanted to see you again, hurt you beyond anything else. None of that seems to matter when you love someone. But then I ask this question. How can you possibly love someone who does this to you? And then I think, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” But do we really think we deserve that? To be treated like absolute dirt? To be treated like we’re second best? Like we don’t really matter? Is that what people think they deserve nowadays??? If that is the case then I am sorry for humanity. For young women to stoop down to the lowest of the low because they think they deserve that.

I could go on about how you deserve better and you shouldn’t be with that guy, that he is so wrong for you..but I can’t because I have been in that same boat. No matter what your friends say, no matter what anyone says really. You will never leave him. Even if he leaves you. And that is probably the worst part about this. Some girls love so deeply and purely that no matter what a guy does to them they still want to be with them for whatever reason. Could be because you’ve been with them for so long you don’t want to give up, could be because you outweigh the good from the bad, could be because you just feel alive when you’re with him, could be any reason.

I suppose I shouldn’t be so biased either, because guys can be exactly the same. In fact, I know quite a few guys who actually think about more than just getting in a girl’s pants. Those are the guys that should be getting the girl. I guess “nice guys finish last” isn’t just an expression, but honestly some only finish last because some girls don’t want to see how great those guys can be. I know quite a few nice guys and nice girls that are very happy together. I wish that there was a way to make that true for everyone.

I’m going to wrap this up before it turns into a book. Don’t worry, if this is interesting to you there is plenty more to come. I just want to end this with a question. Why are people okay with being treated like they’re nothing? When we accept the love we think we deserve, most of us accept to be treated like we’re nothing. And personally I’m done with that, but I’m sure somewhere down the road I will fall victim to one of those people who makes me throw caution to the wind. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

“You can’t just sit there and put everyone’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

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