Trying, but failing…

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about trying lately. It takes a lot to try. You are always trying new things, trying to keep things the way they are and trying to keep up with life. I’ve made a lot of mistakes (like..A LOT of mistakes) and now I’m trying to go back and fix what I can. Relationships, friendships, promises. I’ve done a lot of damage to a lot of things and I know how bad that sounds, but that’s because it is.

It’s extremely hard to go back and try to fix things, especially when you’ve broken them more than once, but I’m gonna try.

It’s harder when people have given you so many chances and you’ve ruined all of them. For example; my real friends have put up with me jumping from circle to circle, group to group, friend to friend. And I took advantage of them when I could and that isn’t what true friendship is. I chose boys over them which is a big no-no. So now I’m trying to get them back. Some of my friends have stuck with me through all of my drama. I don’t know how they could stand to deal with me that long, but I am very thankful that they did.

I am very blessed to have friends that are true and that will stand by me no matter what I go through. Some of them have probably had enough and I wish that I didn’t have to lose them. But that is a factor of life.

So I am going to keep trying. Hopefully, I can fix what things I can and  I will try to make a difference, but it is hard to change when you have been doing the same thing over and over for such a long time.

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