Alright, just as a warning to you before you read any further. This is a rant. I am in a bad mood and this is a way for me to vent. So honestly this will probably offend you in some way, shape or form. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but honestly, I’m not gonna control what words I type out. This is therapeutic.
First off. I have to write a final paper for my college writing class on a specific topic that is controversial and personal. I wanted to write my paper on abortion, but apparently, that was too controversial (really what my teacher said is that she has read papers on that topic so many times she would probably just give me a bad grade because it would be boring for her to read). Anyways, she told me to pick another topic that was sensitive to me. So I chose suicide.
Now here’s the thing. Suicide is an extremely touchy subject for me to talk about; let alone write about. I have had a lot of friends contemplate suicide, almost go through with it and almost succeed in doing it, but I was lucky enough to talk them out of it/help them. It is a very scary and life-changing experience.
Here is where the rant part comes in.
Why the hell does anyone even think that they know anything that is going on inside a persons head when they think about suicide? Why would they even consider themselves part of that process? They have no fucking idea what that person is/was thinking when they decided that, that was a choice they felt they had to make.
Now, I’m not saying that I know anything about anything. I just started doing research on this topic, but most results I’ve found are on how suicide is caused by depression, bullying, and psychological disorders. Edwin S. Shneidman dedicated his whole life to understanding suicide. He concluded that suicide is “psychological pain.” He said that “suicide is caused by ‘psychache'” and without it, there is no suicide. “Psychache refers to the hurt, anguish, soreness, aching, psychological pain in the psyche, the mind,” Shneidman said that suicide only occurred when the psychache was considered unbearable by the specific person that was feeling it.
So here is my conclusion. People who say that they ‘understand’ what the person that committed suicide was going through; or that, that person was selfish are fucking idiots. You have no idea what someone who committed suicide was going through or how they felt unless they wrote/left a suicide note. So shut your goddamn mouth. I hate, absolutely HATE it when people think they know more about something than other people. If you miss out on detail then that just makes you look stupid. You also sound stupid.
I’ve been in a situation where I tried to sound all high and mighty and smart about something. You wanna know how that turned out? I missed one microscopic, essential detail to my argument and the person that called me out on it made me feel so dumb. I was the fucking idiot, but I learned my lesson. There are some people out there that don’t know when to stop (even if they’ve been wrong multiple times on multiple occasions).
So, getting back to the subject of suicide. You don’t know a fucking thing about it. I know that there have been studies and articles and books written about the topic. But honestly, you can’t just jump into that person’s mind and really truly know what they’re feeling. Even if they told you, that isn’t really the same thing. Unless you’ve felt that way before or have experienced that level of pain you really have no right to say a damn thing. Scientists and psychologists call it a phenomenon for a reason. So for all you ‘kids’ out there that think you know everything. Before you go run your fucking mouths, just don’t. Save yourself the humiliation and loathing you will most likely get from everyone who knows you just want attention on a topic you know absolutely nothing about.
Thank you and goodnight.