Sorry not sorry…

I have lots of habits. Most of them are not that great. Such as; my nail biting, my short temper and my constant mantra of “I’m sorry”. It’s true that probably the most annoying thing ever is my constant chant of “I’m sorry” (even to me). The thing is though; I almost always mean it.

I say that I’m sorry a lot, even when I don’t really have to. Sometimes even at other people’s expense. But I usually always say sorry when I’m dating someone. I don’t know why, but I always think everything is my fault (no thanks to the first person I ever really had a thing for). Even if it isn’t I always find a way to apologize for something. It is my irrational fear that if I don’t do everything little thing right in a relationship, it will fail. Even though that sometimes happens. You can’t please everybody.

I would really like to find a way where, when I’m in a relationship, every time something goes wrong I don’t blame myself. Unless it is my fault of course. But I don’t want to always feel guilty when I’m not. It isn’t a great feeling. So I will endeavor to find a way to accomplish this task. Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided. It takes two to tango and I am sure that one day a guy out there will be sorry to me about something.

That would be interesting to behold.

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