Behind the wall

We were both guarded. Uncertain.

I wasn’t ready, but the more we talked, the more I felt alive. The more comfortable I felt.

I don’t think you were quite sure about me. I was loud, forward, unabated. I pushed all the limits.

Each hiding behind our own walls. Not wanting to leave the safe confines.

Everything we ever learned told us it wasn’t right. Against every rule. Never in training. Focus. Work comes first.

That’s the thing though. Being together didn’t slow us down. If anything I was more focused. Pushing to succeed and also impress you. Make you proud.

It was a slow burning fire. Every day I looked over my wall a little longer than the day before.

Every day the grip around my heart loosened.

Another night spent in your arms. Another long peek.

I tried so hard to stay behind it. To keep my emotions and feelings in check. It can’t happen.

As usual, the universe, fates, gods, had other plans.

So here we are. Brick by brick. Learning that it’s alright sometimes to go beyond. To reach over and see if it’s alright.

I still have some reservations. I think I always will. But know that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. And it won’t be the happiest I’ll ever be.

I finally feel at home and the best part is that it’s only the beginning.


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