You know who you are. If the shoe fits. This could apply to so many different people. I really don’t know how many people actually read these posts. The stats sometimes give me an indication, but you know how it is. Aspiring writers rarely get noticed until something jumps off the page and into an influencers path or what have you. But I digress.
Thank you. For temporarily showing me that not all men are the same before showing me that you’re pretty much all the same. I’m not categorizing or putting you all in a bubble. I’ve just had the unfortunate luck of being with BOYS and not MEN.
I know what I’m worth. For the most part. I’m still learning as I go. But the more I’m let down the more I’m realizing that I just have a different energy that not a lot of people are ready and willing to deal with. I expect a certain level of decency and understanding that it seems like the people I meet and want to date aren’t about. That’s not my fault. I have to remember that.
Here’s a bit of constructive criticism for you though. If you think you’re the best thing since sliced bread maybe you should take another look in the mirror. Cus honey, you’re ego is getting in the way. Be humble. Realize that you’re not always right. Not saying that us girls are either. But it’s not always about YOU. Turning a girl’s insecurities in on herself because you got in a situation you can’t talk yourself out of instead of taking responsibility is childish. Be DECENT. It’s not hard. Plus telling the truth is much easier and for the most part, if the girl is mature they won’t “freak out” or whatever it is you go tell all your homeboys at the bar.
Ghosting is so 2017. If you’re that afraid of breaking things off like a mature adult and have to resort to hiding and ignoring them then maybe you aren’t ready to date. Lurking in the Snap and Insta is also “really cool” *insert eye roll and intense sarcasm*. I sometimes feel like I was really born in the wrong time. Where decency and human interaction were a real thing. When talking on the phone and actually going on dates were normal and not dreaded. Where dudes still opened doors for girls sometimes and communicated shit to them.
Maybe I’m really dating the wrong people. However, this is the generation where a good time is better than a good thing and “the grass is greener on the other side” is always the better way to go. Always trying to find “the next best thing”. For those of us who actually put in the time and work to a relationship get left in the dust and always heartbroken.
So here’s to you. Because this is the last time you’ll get anything from me. Because I’m done playing games and I’m tired of getting the short end of the stick. You wanna see what it’s like to be with someone like me? Put in the work. There’s a lot of you who are probly gonna want another chance with me later on. Whelp. Good luck. Because I’ve forgiven you. For my own sake. But I’ll never forget what you did to me. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I moved on and fixed myself because I am always gonna be there for me. You were just a temporary indulgence.
I hope wherever you are or whatever you end up doing you’re happy. I always want that. Because at one point I loved you with everything I had at the time. You all have a piece of me whether you wanted it or not. You will remember me because I loved you and no matter where you are that love is still in there somewhere. It’s a powerful thing and it follows people. I can sometimes still feel echoes from other people and I wonder where they are and what they’re doing. It’s a give and take business. Some people just give or take more than others.
Life is a funny mistress. None of us know where we’re gonna end up or who we’ll end up with except for her. And she weaves us all in a crazy giant canvas. Maybe our lines will never cross again and maybe they’ll cross a few more times. Either way, I don’t have any guilt. I’ll deal with those bridges when I get to them.
But thank you. For loving me, leaving me, breaking me, helping me back on my feet. It wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t all good. But I know where I stand and I know what I want. I hope next time I’ll be ready. For you or the future you’s who have yet to meet me.
All my love,