What if I can’t?

I have this overwhelming feeling that I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never be where I need to be or be good enough for someone to love. Will I even be enough for me? How can you be happy with others if you can’t even be happy with yourself?

Sometimes things happen in your life that alter you forever. I think that I lost a big part of myself recently. I give a piece of myself to everyone I meet and as a result, I feel more and more empty. But at the same time, I love that I can make other people happy.

How does that work?

Some days are great and I’m happier than ever. I feel like a million bucks and I’m floating on air. Other days I’m miserable and can’t pull myself out of the epic sadness and emptiness. That’s today. Even when I’m surrounded by friends all I can feel is despair. I just want to cry, but I can’t in front of my friends. Not until everyone leaves and I’m completely alone.

I need the tears to wash out the pain I feel. They won’t come for a while though. I just needed to get this off my chest. We’ll try again tomorrow.

Even if I brought you down, I hope you find a reason to smile. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Today is just one of the days I can’t see it.

Sweet dreams and as always, thank you for reading.

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