Starved for Affection

It’s crazy how one little text completely shifted the entire focus of my life. One person to reach out and pull me out of the pit that I had dug myself into. One choice that has pushed my focus and finally made me realize that I have been the one thing holding myself back all this time.

I’ve not made the best choices in my life. I always knew that I was meant for more. I was made for something SO big that it would blow the mind off even myself. My tastes too rich, “champagne taste on a beer budget” my mom always says. Well maybe it’s time to get the fucking bag and not ever have to worry about money ever again?

It’s funny. My whole life has been a series of “NOs” in the loudest sense of the word. Always being underestimated. Not the front of the pack, usually bringing up the rear. Slow and steady. Taking the longer, harder path, knowing that it would eventually lead me to exactly where I needed to be.

So much adversity. I am not old. 27 isn’t that old. But I have had life experiences that would rival some of my friends’ lives who are much older than me. Trauma and other circumstances that any normal person would lay down and give up over. But not me.

I have never been one to just lay down and take anything. Always pushing back, seeing how far I could take it. Reaching to the farthest limits possible. Never letting anything or anyone stand in my way. Did it get me into trouble? Of course, but what’s life without risk?

Two years ago you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to predict I’d be where I am now. I have been a sad lost puppy for too long. I was allowing my pity and life circumstances and other people dictate how I felt about myself and my situation. But fuck all that. I finally stood up, brushed off the dust myself, and got to fucking work.

I really went into it this time, really researched, reached out to old coworkers and colleagues, focused my energy on getting myself together. It was time to stop wallowing and do something with my talent. How do you market yourself? Sell your experience. Everyone has a story to tell so use it as motivation and inspiration for other people.

One text. That’s all it took. For me to finally find my calling. Help people and make money. Build a six figure income over the course of 2-4 years. Am I there yet? No. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to get there. If there is anything I’ve wanted to happen more in my entire life, it’s this. I am pushing this energy into the universe and manifesting this for myself. Because why can’t we have everything we’ve ever wanted and more? Why do we have to sit back and watch people live that life and enjoy it when we could fucking HAVE it????

So this is my challenge to all of you. Dream BIGGER. Think about what you really want and make it happen for yourself. Am I still struggling to make ends meet, pay my bills, and get out of debt? Yes. I am no where close to where I want to be yet, but I get closer every day. I BELIEVE that it will happen and I am crushing any negative thoughts and people who would tell me otherwise.

My whole life I’ve struggled with relationships. The ones with my family, the ones with friends, and personal romantic ones. I let them define me for such a long time and I am finally breaking out of that cycle. I can finally take a breath and it not feel like there is a giant weight on my chest. The pressure is still there, but it gets a little lesser every day.

I know I haven’t been around lately. I am focusing all of my energy into this one thing so that I can really make it real. I will definitely be documenting more after my test next week and I am excited to really share in the part of the journey we’ve all been waiting for. The light at the end of the tunnel is finally getting closer.

My mentor used a quote that really stuck with me, and forgive me, I am not sure where it originated, “9-5 pays the bills, 6-10 builds the empire”. I have said this to myself every day since he said it and it is pushing me to really get to work. It is currently 10:57pm and I have never felt more motivated. I want to move faster. I want to reach my goals sooner. This is the momentum.

There are so many people I want to share this amazing opportunity with, but I have reached out and given them a chance and it is up to them whether they want to step up and change their life. It isn’t something I can do for them.

All of my mentors up until this point have pushed these things: Don’t give up. It is going to be extremely hard and scary, but why would you work the land for all this time not to enjoy the harvest? If you don’t stick around to enjoy it, someone else will. Exaggeration is my affirmation. I will speak this into existence. If I believe in it, it will come true. I am so fucking close. I have never felt closer to anything ever. I know that things always get worse before they get better, but this is the one thing I choose to go all in on.

To everyone who has been on this journey with me, I appreciate you. Thank you for the constant support. I always feel when good vibes are being sent and they are finally playing themselves out. I will be back soon and until then, keep doing what you do best and you’ll never fail.

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